You can't understand what's happened
Why I run
Why I'm afraid
You can't imagine what's happened
Why the taste of your kiss makes me cringe
Why I silently calculate how to escape
And how to Survive
The Purest LightRoll your eyes
Because She's there
Staring you down
Making certain you don't
Checking to see if you act friendly
Because it seems
If you don't follow her
She will murder you
With promises of hell
Because She says She's God's child
She says She's perfect
The verses on Her footsteps
Meant something good
And demonic power
That only those who
They are the Purest Light
The Darkest Evil
the artistwatercolor stains my
bleeding a diluted
spectrum of hope
I strain for inspiration
and impossible explanations
REDIn red marker
Love is scrolled across your wrist
Today you exclaim how you will do anything you can to
Today I stand atop the edge of a chair recalling your words...
You have nothing to loose
No one will miss you...
I pull my face through the noose, it scrapes my face and passes
Salty tears drench my scratches, replicating the pain I've felt my whole life
With the swift jab of my foot the chair falls
I only feel the tug at my throat for a quick moment, then
Just yesterday you carved
on my soul
Today you wrote love on your arms
Athazagoraphobiato see you again
is to walk through the pages of a history book
each word graced by the wonder of truth
I watch grimy fingers crease and turn the pages of time backward
revealing our story
I know it's hard to understand,
that somewhere my heart still pulses with the sweet venom of your love
never have I forgotten the secrets we hold
nor the secret meetings that we held
our tale as old as time
plays back in my skipping record of a mind
an endless song
one I will never forget
one I seem to have forgotten
and misleading rumors,
In your abandoned world
his heart beats
steadily without you
I stood alone
but as your
green seeped into your veins
through your envy-colored glasses
you saw something
you could never achieve,
for his attention remained on
projecting your largest fears into
an embarrassing, one-sided
that you began to see true
as all threats should be
I must be
however, your small talons could only
crush the weak
I am strong
but out of shock
and now you lay
for his attention has left you completely
you understand the
consequences of your treason
Silent TearsMore painful are the silent tears
Than the desolate moans
Petty are the pained groans,
And they just seem more so when you're grown
But crying silently
Can often be
For no one comes to comfort me
When I'm alone in the dark and they cannot see
That I didn't get better-I just got better at hiding my sorrow
Better at acting like I don't dread each tomorrow
Can they really not tell how much I'm hurting?
Or are they afraid to admit
That it is most definitely NOT okay
My misery's well hidden but it hasn't gone away
I'll just fake a smile and die inside all the while
It seems sadness is here to stay
This Star Won't Go OutI am tired of being alone.
I am tired of boys like Dan,
Who make me doubt myself.
That's right. I'm putting a name to the identity.
You're no longer going to be able to hide and run.
And you can apologize a thousand times,
But you can never take back how bad you made me feel towards myself.
I am tired of boys like Jim,
Boys I can't shake. Boys I can't forget.
That's right. I'm admitting it.
I can't seem to make the lie I've been telling myself real.
I can't get over you.
But maybe that's because ther isn't anyone there to help me climb.
I am tired of boys like Mike,
Who wait and wait until Rapunzel's already left her tower.
That's right. I know how you feel.
I guessed after the games we've played.
And it's alright,
But I don't know how I feel. So I can't tell you.
I'm sorry to all of you,
Because I can't be as strong as you think am.
Because smoetimes I get so mad at the world,
I scream and cry and pull out my hair.
Because I hate my body,
But can neverdo a
Daydreams.I fell asleep in the afternoon today,
And dreamt of killing you slowly
As the sun drew long colors
Along the surface of the ocean
And the birds chirped cheery songs
Of love and longing
Born of hope for the future.
I thought of the last time you smiled
And the sweetness of your breath
Fell soft on my face
Like light rain Sunday mornings,
As I watched myself break
The teeth from your gums.
Why My Teddy Covers His EyesMy teddy bears cover their eyes when there is silence in my room,
I hold hope; uniformed lights will arrive soon,
When I hear one set of footsteps, when I hear that terrifying sound,
I save some of my toys; I quickly turn them around,
They stare at my shadow dancing on the wall,
As the concept of love continues to fall,
I don't speak a word as the monster in my closet stands,
He forces down his pants then grabs my hands,
He reminds me this is a secret, however love,
Mum can't help, clouds cry as she stands above,
I love my father, because of him I be,
However if he loves me then why does he hurt me?
When lying in bed he places his mouth where I can't see,
Creating a feeling I like, a loss of true reality is the fee,
I reach for my teddy as I begin to cry,
I tell dad it hurts, he says to give it a try,
I cry but don't dare scream,
For if I do daddy will get mean,
Following a strange noise he leave with a kiss,
Leaving me with the result of an aging wish,
To lay in a different bed at nig
How hard I try
It's always there
A battle I can't win
It eats away
Makes you doubt
Your strongest beliefs
It keeps coming
It reminds you
Of every failure
Every lost battle
Every dead friend
There is no escape
Why We Staythere are remains... spaces...
fragments of silks and laces in our eyes
deepenings, waves of foam and shadows
promises made, such as full-moon tides
our voices whisper...
echo beyond the walls of ancient Babylon
and thus we achieve, the clouds like gods;
warm lips blow kisses to breeze
our hands caresses suspended gardens
young branches entwined over the sea
while the dawn boats, arrive and depart
our feet refuse to leave this place
MARCH © RR
I Won't Give UpI won't give up.
I won't give up the feeling
When we are together
I won't give up the security
Of your strong arms
I won't give up the way
You make my heart flutter
I won't give up the words
Of never ending encouragement
I won't give up the way
You see my flaws and still stay
I won't g
Where Life Starts"I don't hate you because you're gay," he said with a brittle calm, "I hate you because you're hurting the girl I love."
Tyler blinked up at Luke, dumbfounded. Nadia could say the same for herself, but she was beet red and he was a drained white. Paul, on the other hand, wasn't the least bit surprised, in fact he watched Luke with an air of respect. The silence that followed was thick and awkward. Nadia's boyfriend opened his mouth to speak but, found no words. He turned to Paul, as if looking for help.
Paul shrugged, and then crossed his arms, "He's right, you've been selfish."
Tyler's eyes widened, like a hurt child, "But-but, life is so hard for me for us Paul "
A fist cracked down on the table with a deafening bang, Luke had found his fire, "Grow up, Tyler! She's in love with you! But you know that, don't you? She must love you something awful to cover for you, to let you have your happiness; while she has to spend every waking moment trying to be the perfect gi
Final EscapeI keep promising what I can't give.
I keep saying what I don't believe.
I keep pretending that I want to live.
I keep on trying but I'll never succeed.
Every night gets a little bit colder.
(Now that no one's by my side!)
And every day I get so much older.
FlyShe never let her tears show
She never let them flow
She held it all in
She never showed her true pain
She never showed her scars
She kept it to herself
She never felt true joy
She never let herself be free
Until the day
She let her tears show
She let them flow
She wrote the note
She showed her true pain
She showed her scars
She stood at the window
She felt true joy
She let herself be free
MissedThe words you say,
Sink in her soul
They rot, decay
Her hearts not whole
Can't you see the knife
Held to her wrists?
A cherished life,
Will soon be missed.
PainLife can be too confusing for one to bear
With a blade to your wrist, your skin will tear
A fire match will burn your skin
But the pain you feel is kept within
The Six Colours Of BloodThere is a test to ensure that I'm not dead,
That supports and contradicts words said,
A knife of assurance, a blade of hope,
Your ignorance states; a self created rope,
A tear escapes, no longer having to hide,
I cast judgement then welcome it to my side,
With this test I can't fail,
Falling blood, a wounded grail,
Moving to a beat of its own,
Despite appearance, I have grown,
An adults body, a childs mind,
Waves of emotion, you left behind,
Parents stand, a son to conform,
My decisions are yours, forever worn,
Hiding from normality, I bleed,
Harvesting a generational seed,
I welcome my reflection,
Your perception causes protection,
There is a test to ensure that I'm not dead,
I self harm; yellow, orange, purple, green and red.
I'm The GirlI'm the girl nobody notices because she hides herself from the world.
I'm the girl who doesn't have a clue about how to act around the guys she crushes on.
I'm the girl who would make an idiot of herself to make others happy.
I'm the girl who fears being judged by others.
I'm the girl who is plagued by hate for herself.
I'm the girl who seems to break everything she lays a hand on.
I'm the girl with the red-hot temper and the crushing depression.
I'm the girl who liked to talk but never got the courage to follow through with anything.
I'm the girl nobody could love because she hid in the shadows.
The one who was too shy to communicate with those she didn't know.
I'm the girl who wanted to be loved, kissed and hugged.
The one who lied constantly and let emotions get the better of her.
I'm the girl who wears a mask at every waking moment.
I'm the girl who wishes she was somebody else.
One Slice.One slice,
Then I'll sleep.
Doesn't have to be deep.
I just need one slice.
I need the bitter sweet pain.
I need to see the crimson liquid,
Wash away all the shame.
I need one slice,
Just across my wrist.
I'm trying hard,
But it's hard to resist.
I did it
Now I'll go to sleep.
Hoping that tomorrow,
The cut will be deep.
Just Beneath My SkinI want people to know the truth
But how do I tell someone who wont listen?
All they see is the lie I've weaved
And they only know me as the person I pretend to be
How do I show them the truth?
That lies just beneath my skin
DarknessLost in the darkness
But I am not afraid of the dark itself
But rather the secrets the darkness holds
The secrets that changed my life
The darkness holds dreadful things
Things no one should bear witness to
Things you can never forget
Things that you can never change
Damage that you can never undo
The darkness is its keeper
It holds things too great and terrible for others to bear
Secrets must be kept in the dark
In fear of others falling prey to its horror
The darkness is a friend in the guise of a enemy
It keeps you safe from the horrors of the world
And there I will be waiting
For the glory of the world to pass
And crumble into the darkness.