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WeLovedAndLost by spaztic-one

Poetry by LilyTurnedBlack

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Submitted on
July 10, 2011
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You can't understand what's happened

Why I run

Why I'm afraid

You can't imagine what's happened

Why the taste of your kiss makes me cringe

Why I silently calculate how to escape

And how to Survive
The Fear of Memories
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:iconwhisperedmemories:
whisperedmemories Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2011
I like this. Its simple, but carries a lot of weight. Lovely write!
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:iconunmeo:
Unmeo Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
Enjoyed it. Congrats
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:iconred-banner:
Red-banner Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
I really enjoyed the repetition here, but I didn't like the rhythm much. In order to emphasise the repetition, I think you should change the fourth line to "You can't imagine what's happened", and perhaps work with the syllable count in the following lines?
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:icongoneloopy:
goneloopy Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree with you 100%! I changed it! =D Thank you so much for the advice I appreciate it greatly!
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:iconred-banner:
Red-banner Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
You're very welcome! I'm glad I could help.
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